Miss America

Wrote 'Miss America' in 1980 and recorded it 2017.

"You are rich, you are rolling,
I'm a guy who needs consoling,
So come in from your spending spree.
Whilst you're filling all the tills
With your fifty dollar bills,
I'm down to my last 10p.

I've been without all my life,
They say it's good for the soul,
But whoever said that
Is warm and fat,
Where I am skinny and cold.

You say you admire my lifestyle,
'Bohemian,' 'decadent,' 'free.'
All the 'fellows' back home are 'monied' and 'dull.'
Well, I can be dull for a fee!

What the use, I ask you,
Of sitting on all that cash,
Like some broody, old hen on a golden egg
She knows will never hatch?

'An artist, a genius, will make it one day.
Charming, disarming, a glorious lay,
Petty and witty and funny.
With love and sincerity you lavish the plaudits
But, forgive the temerity, having just done my audits,
I'd rather you lavished the money!

So, consider my case Miss America,
When next you visit your banker,
All the world loves the snot with the yacht,
But penniless they just think you're a wanker."